Teen FAQs | LifeWorks

Several things, I believe -

For starters, I have worked directly with children, teens and young adults for over 20 years now in various settings (schools, camps, orphanages), most recently as head of school here in HK. During that time, I developed a solid understanding of the different stages young people go through; the primary challenges they face as they mature; but more importantly, I learned how to really communicate and connect on a personal level. In fact I'd say that's one of my true strengths - "connecting with kids"

Second, I have extensive training in psychology, coaching, counselling and human performance. Beyond my formal studies and qualifications, the whole field of personal development has been a lifelong passion of mine and I love sharing some of the “tools & tricks” with others.

Third, I’ve come to understand that lasting transformation nearly always takes place at the deepest levels of personal identity, beliefs and needs. Well known “CBT” (Cognitive Behaviour Therapy) has proven effective for many issues, however for change to be long-lasting and permanent it almost always requires a change in our beliefs or identity. As humans, we are all driven by certain fundamental needs. Once we recognize those needs (and the underlying beliefs associated with them) it’s like finding the keys to the palace - we can begin to unlock and unpack our own patterns of thought, emotion, language and behaviour. All of a sudden, life becomes a game! We start to recognize our own “dysfunctional” patterns because we understand what’s driving them. From there, change becomes a whole lot easier...

One quick example. A person who defines themself as fat ("I'm a fat person") will never be able to lose weight long term. They may diet and lose weight in the short term, but the identity they hold for themselves will always dictate their behaviours (eventually they will put the weight back on). The reason for this is the human need for consistency - if we define ourselves as a "fat person" our actions will have to match to maintain our own sense of congruence. The solution of course is to adopt a new identity. With a new identity, a true identity (for example, "I'm a health freak"), all thoughts, feelings, language and behaviour fall in line to support the identity. As a wise person once said, "The way you define your identity defines your life."

Finally, I believe in results. My clients are paying for an outcome, and that’s what they deserve. I tell clients… if they’re not seeing some sort of improvement after 3-4 sessions, then we may not be a good fit for one another.

(Disclaimer: self-motivation is a prerequisite for change. If a client is unwilling to fully engage in sessions or work on assigned skills/tasks between sessions, progress will naturally take longer.)

It’s a way for you to experience coaching/counselling with zero risk upfront.

Come for one session, try it.

If you decide it’s not for you (or not what you expected), you pay NOTHING.

You only pay if you are completely happy, and decide to return for a second session.

Please note: this is not a MONEY FREE session.

It's only "free" if you decide not to return after the first session.

Any questions, feel free to email: info@lifeworks.hk

That sounds like a trick question.

Maybe a better question is: how motivated are you?

When clients come in for counselling, typically there’s a good deal of unconscious resistance. On the one hand they want to change (“I really do”) but the fear of change, or the effort required, keeps them stuck. On top of that quite often there is secondary gain involved. That is, having a “problem” (and keeping it) meets one of the client’s core needs.

As a practical psychologist (“mind coach”), my aim is always to create results for people as quickly as possible and to help them move through the resistance. In this field unfortunately there are no guarantees, however as stated in the previous section, if a client is failing to see improvement after 3-4 sessions, we may not be a good match for one another.

Two suggestions –

Number one. You might try using the term “coach” or “life coach” instead – there can be less stigma attached to these terms, and for some students it can feel less intimidating, especially teens who are seeking independence and prefer to guard their privacy. Most teenagers will know a “coach” from school and team sports; and realize that a coach’s job is to simply make improvements in a player’s ability. Same principle applies to a “life coach” or “mind coach.” The only goal is to identify better coping strategies (= less pain, more pleasure).

Number two. It’s important that teenagers understand WHY they are being asked to see a coach/counsellor; and that they don’t get the impression someone is trying to “fix” them. It may help to share the following metaphor –

As humans, we are all perfect and unique in our own way. However just like our smartphones and computers, every now and then we need to upgrade or “fine tune” the software to ensure our mind is functioning optimally. Think of it as personal maintenance. The role of a coach/counsellor is to help you develop your mind skills, much like a basketball coach helps to develop your physical skills.

What's unique about your approach?

What is the "risk-free" first session?

How long will it take to see results?

Do you offer online coaching (via Zoom or Skype)?

My child/teen is reluctant to see a “therapist” or “counsellor.” Any suggestions?

Where is your clinic and what are the hours?

What if I have more questions?

How do I schedule a session?